| Disappointing. That is really the only word to describe Chara’s state gymnastics meet. It was not without its highlights. Some of the girls on her team did quite well, but this was not a team competition and as happy as I am for those girls, Chara’s performance was disappointing. The worst part about it is she was not beaten… she beat herself. Bars: 8.6. 10th and medal. Honestly not sure why. This was not her best routine, but it was not bad. There was one obvious mistake on a skill, but not what I would call a major fumble, and in my ignorant opinion a great dismount and landing. I guess I just do not have a clue what I am looking at. However several other parents and her coach agreed that this one was quite confusing as well. Beam: 8.5 9th and medal. What could have been a breath taking, excellent routine (you should have seen the handstand) was marred by two major fumbles… a fall and well really I guess what counted as a fall so essentially two falls (falls count as .5 each!) Floor: 8.1 I do not know what place, no medal. I do not even know what to say here. She lost her head completely. This too looked like it was going to be her best routine ever until she went into her splits on the wrong leg and could not get up and had to put her hand down (a fall) and then got behind on the music. She killed herself. Vault: 9.150 10 and medal. Irony calls here. This is normally her weakest event by far. Her vaults at state were not spectacular but for her pretty good. Ha ha, the double irony is that at the beginning of the season we thought this would be her best event and beam her worst and it turned out to be the exact opposite! All Around: 34.350 11th (so I have been told) no medal. Here is where my dilemma begins. My daughter is 11th in the state!!! How cool is that? And yet it is so disappointing because if she had a better head, better focus, and had done her best work she could have done so much better and really as awesome as it may/can sound, it really isn’t all that great. One of her coach’s did tell me a funny story about this though. I guess after the meet she walked right up to the meet director and several of the judges and very politely informed them that they forgot to give her an all around medal. They all felt bad and strange and did not know what to say to the unknowing little girl. Her coach then explained that she did not earn the medal this time but that she still did great getting three medals in other things. The coach told me it was cute and funny to see such moxie in my little girl, and I can see how that is cute and certainly funny. I appreciate the story, and it did bring a smile to my face, but I cannot help to think… is it REALLY cute? Is she innocent? Unknowing? Resilient? Or is she naïve? Ignorant? Uneducated? Is this a good thing or is it a failing in my parenting and educating of her? And now is where I turn into a rambling fool, make myself seem like a heinous show mom/glory hound vicariously living through my daughter’s success or lack there of and ask for advice. Really, I would not be doing this if I knew where else to turn. Rob and I have a really hard decision to make and realistically a week to do it in. This is long, but please read. I really need the help. There are two possible outcomes… 1) Allow Chara to continue with gymnastics for another year or 2) Force her to quit and explore other extra curricular options. Sounds easy enough, right? The problem is there are multiple variables that all change weight and priority based on the highest value, and I do not even know what the highest value is or should be. If this were a debate round I would pick the desired outcome and go with the one that made my case strongest, but this is not a debate round; it is my daughter’s life, and I do not know what the desired outcome is or should be. Here’s what I know: 1) Chara LOVES gymnastics and has done everything we have asked her to do (not perfectly always but she tries) to earn it. However, gymnastics is all she knows. She has had very little exposure to other activities. So does she love it because she loves it or does she think she loves it because it is all she knows? 2) Gymnastics is very expensive and very, very time consuming. This would be an easy decision if we simply could not afford it, but we can. It is more that we are not sure if we WANT to afford it. It does require some sacrifice in other areas but our needs are covered, and we CAN do it. 3) As exciting and flattering as it would be for my daughter to win medals, competition, and titles, that is NOT what is MOST important to me!!! I want her to pursue the thing that will give her the most happiness and fulfillment and what will aid the most in her growth and development as a person. This is what I believe: 1) I believe Chara is athletically gifted. I believe she is strong and agile and would be relatively good at just about any sport but that she will be really, really good at “her sport.” Maybe I am delusional. Maybe this is the “MOM DREAM.” To me she is extraordinary regardless, but to the world maybe she is just average or worse ehh, but if she does have a gift then I feel responsible to make sure that gift is not wasted. Sure, I know there are people out there who would mock me for calling athletic ability a gift that should not be wasted, but would we even know Eric Liddell’s name and all he did for the Kingdom of God if he did not run and make his stand in the 1924 Olympics? And I am talking both historically and also about the more dramatized but still mostly accurate and hugely popular movie. 2) I do not believe she has the focus or the talent for gymnastics. I do not believe it is “her sport,” but I am not a gymnastics expert. I do not know how to measure potential, and I do not know what to expect from (what goals to set for) my daughter in this sport. And just to clarify (don’t mix my argumentation) I also do not think she is an Eric Liddell and would go to the Olympics in any sport especially gymnastics. I think her gift is smaller scale but no less important and still should not be wasted that is if it is a gift and not just a mom delusion as I said. And if it is just an issue of focus how do I teach a 6 near 7 year old FOCUS! 3) If gymnastics is not her sport and something else is, I do not know what sport is. I used to think tennis, but more and more I am not sure she has the focus for the mental aspects of the game. Back to how do I teach focus? Chara is a good girl. She loves life. She is sweet and genuine and has a heart of gold. Yes, some people get REALLY annoyed by her, and I understand that, but it is hard not to smile when she is around. On a side note, I often fear her enthusiasm will rub someone the wrong way and she will get her heartbroken and shy away from showing the sunshine in her heart. Yeah, I guess stupid mom would like to protect her child from life. I used to buy into Aesop. I, like many, WANT to believe that a good attitude, hard work and determination can get you your dreams, make you successful in whatever you are pursuing but it is fable, a fairytale meant to teach a lesson so we hopefully all become better, nicer, more diligent people, but the operative word is fairytale. In reality, the hare wins and then rubs it in the tortoise’s face. In the end it is pure talent that rules the day and you either have it and are worth something to the sport or you don’t and get lost in the shuffle. I know this sounds bitter. I can honestly say I’m really not. Sad maybe, but not bitter; I am, however, trying to be real and trying to make the right/best decision. So what would you do? How would you decide? I said before that we really only have a week to decide. Now that State is over, Chara’s competition season is over. She has a week off of practice before they start working on the next level skills and getting them ready for the next level’s team try outs. Chara is VERY excited about this. If we let her start pursuing level 5 and getting her heart set on it and then decide to yank it away from her because we decide to force her to try other things, it will break her heart. I do not want to break my child’s heart, but I also do not want to indulge her wants and ignore what is best for her. My big problem is I do not know which is which. And I also want her to learn the importance of commitment. If starts level 5 I expect her to finish level 5 which means if she goes back to gymnastics in a week she will be in gymnastics until at least June when the try outs are held. If she makes the team she will compete with the team and fulfill her commitment if she does not then we would have the opportunity to revisit this decision and determine if she should give it up or recommit to the level 4 team for the competitive season Okay so I told you I am a rambling mess. I do hope some of you made it through my tedious whining. I am not trying to sound weak, emotional, stupid, drama queen, make a mountain out of an ant hill or whatever image might cross you mind. I know I do, and honestly, I am very insecure and embarrassed about that, but I am desperate. I WANT TO MAKE THE BEST DECISION FOR MY PRECIOUS LITTLE GIRL, and I am absolutely torn to shreds about it. |
